Move over, Fred. Make room, Josh. Here comes the Tim Lincecum Express, departing at 3PM sharp on Thursday, 5/8. Tickets just to get on the train platform when it arrives have been selling from the mid $50s all the way up to almost $100 already.
Some say there have been more platform tickets than the 95 seats available for this train. We asked Head Conductor Serper if this was true but he had no comment.
Nevertheless, it should be quite a ride on the ebay Fixed Listing Line. People are already saying you should buckle-up this time to avoid whiplash. The last two trains that left had good starts but didn't really go as fast as people were hoping. There was even a false start on the ebay line for claiming the autograph will be available outside ebay train track policy. That got squashed pretty easily.
Without a doubt the new time departure for this train will sure be worthwhile for those on the west coast who no longer have to wake up so early to get a seat on this train. In the past, they had to be ready by 10AM PST but now they've got a better chance just as lunch is approaching.
From what I've heard, potential passengers are optimistic the latest software will be "glitch-less" in the two-minutes or less it will take for all 95 lucky ticket-holders to claim a seat.
If you just climbed out from under a rock, there will be 95 doors that will open at the same time on this train at 3pm. Allowing only one person to enter per door.
You better jump on as soon as those doors open. And if you think you've got a second shot by going back to the end of the line, think again...you'll be left stranded. In other words, it's Ride or Go Home.
But don't worry, folks. Rumor has it the Joba Express will show up ... some day.
Reporting live from Etopps Central Station ... back to you, Jim.